more than words..

More than words, is all I ever needed you to show..

well, I HAVE FAIL MY BIO TEST FOR SURE !
sudah bisa dipastikan..tidak ada harapan lagi. pasalnya, semalem tuh bikin orderan birthday cake temen ak, ampe sore uda capek. Siap mandi, makan, duduk, pegang buku BIO + STL tapi duduk depan tv. udah dehh....habis aku !
Cuma berbekal tadi pagi aja blajar 2 jam. WTH..yg kluar dari STL juga cuma bbrp soal. geee..
ga tau deh nasib gw gmn lg -.- But i am sure enough for tomorrow's exam ! :)
*cross.

well i never felt this happy for a time- and feel the deepest sadness too.

love me.

i love her…

…so when she has a bad day, all i want to do is hold her, ask why, help her forget, help her smile. but i love her, so when she has a bad day, i know to leave her alone, back off, and realize that i can’t comfort her through some things.

-Ellipsis.

london bridge is falling down..

<\3 sariawan. maag. bete. convo :(
<3 cuci mata ke bakery" di medan. phone. :)

So me & Shelly were having this chat while im typing this.

Shelly says (10:51 PM):
make it glamor !
or black & white

[c=0][c=20]♥SheLeh♥[/c]Yoshi[/c] says (10:51 PM):
hmm..

Shelly says (10:51 PM):
or ntar semua undangan pke black & white then you come out with RED
hahaha

[c=0][c=20]♥SheLeh♥[/c]Yoshi[/c] says (10:51 PM):
what?
i don want to look so outstand dear
hehe

Shelly says (10:52 PM):
it makes you stand out what
hahahaa
its your party come onnnn
omg
if i am over there i'll just make this secret birthday party plan for you
and i'll organized it without you knowing any detail of it !
HAHAHA

[c=0][c=20]♥SheLeh♥[/c]Yoshi[/c] says (10:53 PM):
haha
i really look forward for it
but i just so unfortunate
to not having my dearest during my bday
hiks

Shelly says (10:56 PM):
: (
dont make me sad

[c=0][c=20]♥SheLeh♥[/c]Yoshi[/c] says (10:57 PM):
i m the one suppose to be sad dear..
hiks2
i hope i can telepart u from medan to sg
huh

Shelly says (10:59 PM):
if only i could fly..

[c=0][c=20]♥SheLeh♥[/c]Yoshi[/c] says (11:00 PM):
yup
hmm..
it ok dear. the next best time in our life we r gg to celebrate it tgethet
tgther
haha
our wedding..!!
:P

Shelly says (11:02 PM):
hahahahaa
yes yes yes

[c=0][c=20]♥SheLeh♥[/c]Yoshi[/c] says (11:02 PM):
haha

Shelly says (11:02 PM):
that time MUST HAVE TO BE !

bride wars???
LOL.

an uncomplete puzzle.

i miss..

We had done so many things together.
we went on trip together, walk to school together, escaped from school together, being punished together, spent evening time together, morning jog together, watching dvds and dress up together.

I miss you do nail polish for me. I miss you curl my hair. I miss you come to my house and say "Roti mama mu enak shel !". I miss your mumbles. I miss us who always criticized each other. I miss your mom & dad. I miss you elder sister and chubby younger one. I miss your fcuking iritating brother. I miss your dog. I miss the songs we used to share.

Will you read this?
It's just that i miss you..
my dear friend.

i am living in my fantasy

all i want for this month are these things listed below ♥

hari ini aku total di rumah sendirian. bangun jam 10 tadi pagi, sepi banget ! Mama dari pagi uda ga kliatan. Aku ya sarapan sekadarnya aja which is more like a tea-time snack : tea & cookies.

haha.

Trus kerjain soal" kimia yang ditugasin sama guru les ku tercinta, mwahmwah --"
sekilas ttg guru les ku ini ya, dia meski uda punya 1 anak + 1 lagi bakalan nyusul in the next few months tapi tetep aja sense na sense anak abege gitu. haha. jadi dia ngertiin banget kita" murid na kalo lagi males, bad mood, risih gara" lagi dapet, putus cinta, abis dimarahin bonyok ato apalah! hee.. ;p

BACK! BACK!

abis kerjain soal uda jam 1 rupanya. lunch bentar...tiba" hasrat ku muncul. LOL.
ya! pengen baking ! pertama pengen bikin cookies buat snack dirumah, tapi berhubung males ngaduk pake tangan, yah ak bikin vanilla milk muffin kali ini, soalnya bosen juga sama choco :D
1 resep dapet 10. lumayan deh.. :))

masi kliatan aga pucat sih warnanya, soalnya ga pake api atas. hee..
trus rasanya juga way too milky sih. tapi wangiiiii banget :D

order will be available again on 17th April.

Thank you ♥
:)

trus dari tadi pagi ampe 5 menit yg lalu, ga ada yang nyariin ! HAHA. hape sepii -.-



I'll be hearing my own foot steps under Adelaide sky
Would you be kind enough to remember me...

longing for..

what makes me really frustated just now is that I MET A BASTARD WHO THINKS THAT HE IS WAY SMARTER THAN ME ON A CONVO. i don't even know who he is but then he just blablabla around, and kept mumbling there, even that i don't buzz him anymore. stupid me or him? He started the convo, he lit up the fire and still could say that he didn't. gee.. he even used my friend's acc to chat w/ me -.- see how coward he is?
then another one sex-maniac suddenly added me on msn, buzz me &...asked me about +17 things which i really couldn't reply at all ! I am really ashamed at that time and w/out thinking much more, i blocked him up & delete ! Fiuuhh.. what a relieve..
MSN really such a trouble sometimes ya? .......& the PM tracker?

hmmm..

I speak my mind, that's the truth.
But you've got a temper too.
So when they see us start to fuss and fight,
I guess they think we're through.
But if they're judging us by what they see,
Then they don't have a clue
about you and me♥
:)

i am in love with you

oh, i just called him my Indo's Jason Mraz ! :D

don't you guys think he really sounds like JMraz? & i straightly downloaded his album hahaha.
idk, i love his genre sooooo much.

eh well, i thought i won't be able to blog tonight. but then i had finished studying for tomorrow's exam. well, im not really sure for my eco. got so many formulas in those chapters which buuuuzzzzzzzed my head :S

anyway, congrats Stella Lowis for making a goal to the 10 finalist ! :D

I have found the paradox,
that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt, only more love..

alcohol addict (?)

Another day has gone..

I m scared to think about any possibilities..

Dear, you should know that this will happen- sooner or later, yes?

Wend didn't come to school today & that makes me feel quit bored. Went home @ 1 and cleaned up my self, lunch, & sat here directly. Physics is the highlights. Gg to have my tuition in some more minutes.
OH~! I met Mr. Tony-the director of IEC, Ms. Sorry-I-forget-her-name-who used to teach me, & Mr. Simon(?)-i guess- in school's adm today. Well it has been around 2 years i didn't met them, but happy that they still recognized me! :D
So we chat some craps around and have to go cause the bell rang at that time. Mr. Tony is always extremeeeeeeeely gorgeous! ;p
and tonight, im going to make smth for WesliJovial, which has been asked by him for a week :)

p.s : ga online sampe sabtu :)

it's 2 days to go.

Oh-eM-Ge ! it's 2 days to go man.. my teacher text me last night just before i went to bed, which means around 12 smth to remind me to do extra hws. craaappp !!! I prefer sitting the exams straight rather than to have to spend my time doing papers papers and papers! : (
ok i know it's for my own good, but i just can't stand it. More over it's PHYSICS. i never did good enough in physics. never strike out from 75 : ( and i know it's a right decision for me to let the social class lead my future next year. sighss..

hey, you, whoever feel the same feeling as me now,
it's for you.

sadly, i have to.

p.s : this is what i am actually trying to tell you..

never mind those things anymore over my head. as long as you know that time can't erase this. it stains like wine on the white carpet : )

time flies : (

AH, school is just so...full of emotions today, eh? Like it's only few months since i know my seniors but now, they are leaving soon. I saw lots of last grade students were crying starting from 12 p.m. well yes, they are going to graduate soon from school & today is their last day to say each other their classmates. Some of my senior friends did ask me to do the testimonial things. And i gladly do them a favor. J gave me his class hoodie and I gave him my cupcakes and also to some of his friends. Probably will be the last -well, who knows,there's always a chance- and I barely think these will also come to me in the next few years : (

so, i was quit busy for cupcakes these days and this makes me happy for sure ! : D
friends keep asked for more, more and more cupcakes and there's one of them who was actually saying to me that she has been waiting (n)days for my cupcakes, but then she always come late and get nothing. But i promised her that she'll definitely get as many as she wants on Monday : )

and exams is getting closer ! 3 days to go & i only have 50% preparation. sucks. i think i won't score well this time : (
physics kill me slowly but sure. and i have to survive for social class -.-
*excuse for what i am typing here, i dont really know what am i going to say. duh!


tututu-tuition tomorrow morning at 8!! Alarmed me , please : S

1,2,3,4

Veryanche- sangatlah tabah dalam menghadapi segala sikap tidak sportif dari para oposisinya. Dicaci, dimaki, dihina, dan dianggap gila. My most freakin' crazy classmate yg baru aja dilantik sbg President baru dari partai CRAZYdent ini, sangking terharunya dia sampai menangis saat pelantikan.

such a verryyyy...FUN day i had today (: most of the lessons are free although we're going to sit the exams NEXT WEEK! and still could be this enjoyable at class. wth. haha.

1st of April everybody.. Happy April Fool Day ! :D
Shelly sent me a very nice text this morning..ah, such a <33
and my pretty friend, Jesicapri Gani, turned to be 15 today !! Happy fifteen darling ! smoochhhhes ;))

Quote of the day:
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

goodnight, xoxo♥
nssiwl

started at 8:07 pm
originally typed by : blog owner, Shelly.
dedicated to : her dearest B.

hey B,

how are you? enjoying your life now? i hope so, cause if you don't, all things happened in this week will just so useless, isn't it?
so what do you want actually? i don't have what they said you want from me half year ago anymore now. friends? love? ideas? attention? just so you know, this is the xxx times you've screwed me like this. again and again i let you go. letting bygone be bygones. i think you're on purpose yes? or you act like you aren't? well you said FORGET IT, please. ok, i will, forget these things, forget these moments, and most of all forget about you. simple yes? tolong kalo bicara lain kali pake mikir dulu ya. ribuan kali uda ak omongin hal ini ke kamu tpi kamu ga juga brubah. capek. rasanya ngomong sama orang idiot. ga digubris. don't try to appologize cause you don't owe me any apology. i don't want anything from you anymore. no more, this is enough. thank you for all. i thanked you very much.

xoxo, i ♥ you darn much, B.

ended at : 8.25 pm

i am blank

so i went to di zhang dian w/ my fams for chengbeng and i woke up v early, and that screwed up my morning mood. duh! i hope it'll be cloudy or rain, perhaps, will be better than just cloudy so we could postphoned it right? but then it turned out ECTREMELY SUNNY ! duh duh duh! then after those killing-hours, we finally went home. this is best for me, being home on sunny day. yahoo !
OH~! here check this out, KL offered me his vids and i swear i LOLed out my heart.


he's such so.... whatever. it's my pain killer anw. HA HA HA.

so this is my second order :))

a friend of my sister in Bali ordered 20 sunkiss cupcakes & 15 chocolate cupcakes.
so they will be send tomorrow. ah, hope they'll stay in best taste after 3-days flight *amen!

Do switch off your lamp due to Earth Hour, thanks :)

so it's Selwinda's 15th birthday ytd ! :))
FYI, i didn't post last night because i slept very early. headache and queasy. I felt very uncomfy.
so these are the photos.

first cake goes to... Jordi :D



and us :)


last minute.

and hey friends, remember that today is the last Saturday of March, so it means today is Earth Hour.

Love the Earth?
DO switch off useless electronics just for 60 minutes from 20.30 to 21.30, please :)

just one hour of darkness for a longer lasting brighter tomorrow :)

.................................................................................................

and i've just finished baking. i am damn bored today but i don't want tomorrow :(
so i've spent my whole afternoon to evening by trapping my self infront of my pc. OH~! KL & i were nostalgia-ing about the TAHU ISI faved by most of St.Yoseph's students i guess. and the problem is, when can i have those tahu isi againnnn?? cause KL said that it alrd out of stock @ 1. so HOW CAN I ?? anybody gonna gimme a favor to go and buy, please? :(

p.s : i cant imagine how many weights ill put on after today. i ATE so many chessesticks alrd. SCREAAAMMMMMMM =\

i am a kitchen-lady for a day.

& finally i have a banner for my blog :)))
so i spent my 10 from 24 hours baking in the kitchen today.
and it's really tiring. i bake cupcakes and a birthday cake. Selwinda -one of my classmates- will have her birthday tomorrow (: so i bake her this moccacolatefee cake. i have no idea for such name =\

actually 55 invited me to her belated birthday party tonight @ Sun but i am exhausted so i refused her. SORRY ):


EH, it doesn't rain tonight? ....

i'd rather hurted honestly than misleaded with a lie.

for something that i can't take for good, i won't take a risk on it.
for some people i know i won't hold any longer, i won't forced on them.
one step at a time, slow but sure, i know i can do this.
Hope what i chose won't turn out all wrong :)

IMY.

it rains again..but unlike any other rainy nights, i dislike tonight..

and i dislike this morning too, caused by the topic someone brought up this morning.
why should he actually IN PURPOSE to talk about those things w/ me?
such a joke to see my unhappy face suddenly pops out huh?
:(

ah, let's talk about a nice thing. I am so proud of myself that i could make my own little little income ;) sorry, i am way tooooo excited for this. excuse my over-react ok? smooch*
Mom suggested me to start this little little business of my own. I have fun with this, and i know i put my self to fast on cloud number 9. No doubt that i still have doubt in my mind : how long will this go on?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i just finished my dinner w/ mom & dad. Dad is home for (n)days. I should feel excited about this, but..i find myself not :s
skipthat. i still have bio hw to finish and i am darn lazzzzzyyyy. finishing eclipse is much more tempting for me *evil laugh*
But then i have another job to do. sht, i forgot smth :(
so goodnight fellas, have a nice sleep,
xoxo :)

Dear, i miss you milessssss away ;(

doodabeedeedoo!

i just love today so much. so long since i never felt this feeling anymore, finally i really :)

so my dear Shelly is gg back tomorrow morning. Have a safe flight baby! ;))
and tonight, im going to help my mom to bake, and will finished probably at midnight. WTH is my mom doing, she doesnt usually stay up late at night doing jobs -.-
arghss..


photos today aren't finished upload yet.
some are w/ shelly, cathy & winston.
visit my facebook to take a look :)

♥

♥ sweet love goodnight :)

teddy.

i am looking foooooooorward for tomorrow ! It'll be a small reunion for us, childhood little friends :)
Shelly Efendy, Jesicapri Gani, Vinsensia Angelis, Brigitte Allen, Sherin, Ivan Junio, and other more ! :D
...........
I was trapped in a chat with Wesli's friend. He used wes' msn and chatted w/ me. well i did suspect that - Wes'J - is not Wesli. Till i trapped him back !! HAHA.
Quit boring actually, it's raining again and again. Played winks with Kenny a.k.a Black Holic till we dropped =.=
I baked some again this evening. They are for Shelly. She's gg back on Sunday morning..ah, why it seems so fast?? only a week :( wish that we could spend more time. If only we go to the same sch, living in a same town, time managing will just be a piece of cake. Sooooo..

IM ON TOP OF MY EXCITEMENT !!

thankful me.

My day is good today, although shelly had canceled our lunch today. and probably tomorrow too, but she made sure that we'll go out after school since i don't have any tuition to catch on. Sorry, Cathy ! blame on her :p and and well, i owned a new white loose-but-cool shirt 30 mins ago. LOL. I was looking for my skirt when i suddenly found this shirt. And it is BIG. I started to feel excited and try it on. I can't deny not to say it looks good HA HA. Then i asked mom who's shirt is that? And she said, "That's from your sist! She gave it to me. But it doesn't fit me. You can have it if you want." OH I <33 MOM ! :DDD And she gave me a bag too. Hmm..i don't know what type of bag it is. in mandarin they called it shui tong bao. And it's niceeee !
I bursted soooo much laughter at school today, esp in the last lesson. My friends were going wild. HAHA. we took videos, and they are a total shame ! LOL. but fun is all we had :))

hard time recover a brighter :), don't you think so?

i'll move on.

i googled, yahoo, 4shared-ing, rapidshare-ing but i couldn't found any of them :(
then a hero came. He sent them to me :D thankyouuuuu ! You are the star tonight :p

This road that I'm taking twists and turns
My life, my chance turning dreams into reality.
Down this path faced with so many things
Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away
Can't seem to go on
And I've been thru' this before
Now where am I?
Where do I stand?
A little lost here.
But I'll remember.
All those times you've brought me thru'.
I'd be a fool to give up cos' the goal is near

Here I am, once again caught in the rain.
Looking back I've come so far And I want to carry on
Take a step at time
It's alright.
Even thru' this rain, I want to :) again

:)

this is like heaven to me! finally...

guess who fetched me from school this afternoon? ;)))
haha. thought that you could lie to me huh? i know your tricks..
She phoned me 5 mins before school's bell rang and i was unable to stop my self for being so hurried to meet her. So i escaped from my math class and i succeed :D
And i asked her to get inside school, as she has said before she wanted to know Cathy Djaya. So i set both of them to meet each other.
After the chat, we went to Sun for chillin.
She'll spend only 1 week here, and we'll gather up again this saturday since we'll be busy by our own activities :(
but no worries, WE'LL SPEND WHOLE SATURDAY! hurray :DD




this is why we call our selves BigEater :p

Thanks for this afternoon baby!

oh, and enjoy this with the rain ♪ :)

just show up, man.

They say me dumb, fool, way too easy-going, not-a-hater(?!), and etc. But the point is, they say that i am too kind for those two-faced 'friends'.
I don't know, what i know, is that you can't payback hate with hate too. So i assumed that it's better not to talk to those people anymore, rather than to take an action on them, such as revenge or what. I really do not have any idea why you guys should treat me this way. The breakdown, empty promises, no true friends (except the one in sg), i feel so..left down here. It has been 4 months, and i still feel..yah, left down. If only i could have everything i have in my life, I won't take much. seriously, you might think that i am too sensitive or being so pathetic. But how can i stand still without breaking inside? YES you would say that "Shelly, isn't that weak. She could handle this. blablabla."
But that's not what i want. I don't need concern. mark it, I DON'T NEED IT.
I told Shelly about this ard week ago, and she told me that she's feeling the same too right there. and my heart is falling appart as i find the fact that she's facing the same things too. ah, life is not easy. I know i shouldn't complain all the time. Step forward is a must. I am in process anyway, but this things are just like the black clouds over my head.
I want my sunshine. I am waiting for it actually.

kety perry - thinking of you.

white(s)

so i end up no where.
I canceled my plan to accompany Thomas to go to GMS cause i am tired, and i need to give a hand to my mom. We were accidentally in red today. haha. He was in my home since 9 a.m and spent more than 6 hours. Yeah, we bake more than 100 cupcakes; lemon and chocolate :)
I bet lemon is better than chocolate, even i didn't taste them :p
So after finished packing, we sent some to Irene Hartanto.

You might find my blog a lil' bit boring these days without photos.
I just don't capture these days. Moody me, huh?
And i don't know what to do tomorrow. I was invited to Irene's house by her mom for her aunt's wedding. I don't know if i will or won't go, since i don't know them realy well.

If we never see each other again, and one day,
you feel a certain presence beside you..
That would be me, loving you,
wherever I am.

I am addicted to My sassy girl by Charlie Bellow (Jesse Bradford) and Jordan Roark (Elisha Cuthbert). I dont know, the movie just stole my heart away, AW ! :))
It has been realeased since 2008, but i just watched it a week ago.
The story is sweet and touching- for me. How the plot works, how their chemistry pops out, And i watched it 5 times in a row. I am not joking!
Listen to what they say..ahhh..it's melting! ;)

fly me to the moon where there's no you.
happy white day, two-faced.

baby-cupcakes

rain and tears are the same.

is it?

i've just finished downloading my msn. and it makes my hips cry :(
2 hours just for downloading. gees...
but i like this better :D
and i m gg to find those eye-catching skins then.

tomorrow : baby-cupcakes :)

back from the chaotic network

so im back w/ the system nice and not troublesome :)))
but then idk what to write here..haha.
well, i might not smile so much these days, idk why.
i don't share so much things anymore now. i changed. that's what some of my fellas said.
this is not on purpose. maybe this is just one of the phases of my life.
ah, let it flow..you'll find a different me :)

and i miss playing my pet society. but when i play it, i just feel like i am so lack now.
then i need to download my msn's scripts once more. arghhh.. i am darn lazy to do :( tomorrow will have chm & IT test.
IT is not the pain in my neck, but sure chm will do. wish me luck, eh? :))

me & Thomas have planned for a-hundred-cupcakes this 14th.
And will be joining GMS' event with Irene, i guess :))

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

♥
i want to be with my girl :(
i miss her most now.
i didn't meet her online tonight..
hope she'll definitely make it this March.

i don't confess.

.

;(

avocado.

HEEELLOOOOOOOOO ppl !!!!
:DDD
i misssssss you so ! yeah! you know i do!
friends who are really with me recently will know how much i miss this blog :p
hyper deh. hahaha.

one week. nothing much happen. i am still fine :))
this morning i went for a morning walk with other 300+ teens in cemara.
last night Calvin went to my house and we chatted alot & he asked me to join then.
I thought it's nice to wake up early in the morning and went for some workout, so why not?
It started @ 6.30 and 1 of the organizer asked me to head one of the line 0_0
I was a bit shy, really. I just know 2 from 300+ ppl there. gosh.
But so lucky that 2 girls introduced themselves after the walk :D
They said that they are so familiar with my face o.0?
ahaha.

well. i still got sooooo many probs with my networks and system.
sht. i hate :(
sorry for the ignorance anw..

have a good night!